Procrastination is wonderful. Too bad its only helpful for a moment and then it'll totally screw you over afterwords. Aha. Leave it to me to procrastinate until I'm knee deep in work. Good going, Tiff.
But the hell, I'm an expert at it, right? Yeahhh that what I keep telling myself.
Lets face it. Old habits die hard.
ahhh procrastination, I wish I could just squash that stupid word.
And so I keep telling myself I'll stop and no more procrastinatio. HAH. Yeah right. So tell me why am I writing a blog about my procrastination problem instead of doing my lab? Lol. I'm procrastinating thats why. Its so wonderful until everything you need to do bites you in the ass because you failed to do it. Haww, well I guess I better get to it instead of getting distracted. Thats gonna be hard after all I wonder what other songs come in an Alvin and the Chipmunks version. Aha, so I'll continue procrastinating for now and THEN i'll do my work and stop putting in off. Maybe :)
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Realization
Today, the SHA senior class went to see High School Musical 3. I have to admit it was better than I thought it would be. The thing is it just made me depressed, depressed, depressed. It made realize even more, I'm gonna be out of highschool in less than six months. Scary thought, aye? I still don't know what I'm gonna do with myself. I wonder whats gonna happen with my friends and me. I wonder if I'll even move out like I want. There's just so much I wonder about.
Well thats besides the point.. All I have to say is I'm over highschool relationships, boyfriend girlfriend wise, I mean. I no longer believe in being with someone "forever" unless it means 'till death. You know why? It's because FOREVER means so many things that it wasn't meant to mean. Forever is supposed to mean eternally but it is as overused as LOVE. Forever can mean until tomorrow; until next week; until next month; until a year from now. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. Those meanings make "forever" meaningless.
At the same time why should someone care if they're with their significant one "forver" especially at this age!? Hello! Your still young. Have fun! DON'T WORRY IF SOMEONE BREAKS YOUR HEART! It's okay you'll live. Others will come and go. Until you find someone truly worth saying "until death".
Face it, God is a necessity, boys are, just well, A MEER DESIRE. You meet eachother, fall for one other, get hurt somewhere in the relationship, and you cry. MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU MOVE ON.
I'm not saying its impossible to fall in love with someone at this age but I have a feeling its not going to be able to compare to the love you have with your FUTURE husband/wife. In a reltionship there's love on different levels.
There's infatuation which isn't reall love at all. There's puppy love, yenno the kind that goes on between teens. Then there's the love for the "you know what and you know how", which isn't healthy at all. There's also the abusive kind, which is bad too. There's also that love that really means alot but in the end doesn't work out. There's also the love working its way to the most serious and important thing..eternal love. True love, the kind you find with a SOUL MATE. THERE'S THAT ONE GOD MADE YOU FOR, SILLY!
I still think its okay to be in love, its okay to be in relationship. Because without being broken you can't get stronger. Without making mistakes, you might mess up the most important love ever. Things we go through in our relationships now only help us later. It may hurt...
But for now why worry? Think of it, ARE YOU PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW? I'm guessing your answer is no, right? So if your heartbroken, if your lonely, and all that stuff IT SERIOUSLY IS OKAY. You're never alone because GOD IS RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE 24/7. It's cuz you have friends and family that will LOVE YOU even if that guy or girl DOESN't anymore. So don't dwell on it. Being single is wonderful. For now focus on you being happy. After all you can't be happy with somebody else unless you can be happy "alone".
And here's another thought.. God's supposed to make you happy and well boys are just an add on feature to that smile on your face. GOD will be there for you more than ANY GUY WILL BE. TRUST HIM!
I loved once. I'm in no rush to love again. Those memories held good and bad moments but it was something to learn from. I'm happy we're I'm at. Like I said, "It's not like I'm getting married tomorrow anyway."
So for now run after Jesus, He's more worth it than a silly boy.
After all I'm pretty sure that LOVE is worth waiting all these years for.
BE HAPPY. JUST CHILL!! :)
After all less than 2% of highschool sweethearts actually get married
btw dont let anyone hold you back.
P.S. Sorry if I sound bitter. I'm just glad I figured out how I feel.
Well thats besides the point.. All I have to say is I'm over highschool relationships, boyfriend girlfriend wise, I mean. I no longer believe in being with someone "forever" unless it means 'till death. You know why? It's because FOREVER means so many things that it wasn't meant to mean. Forever is supposed to mean eternally but it is as overused as LOVE. Forever can mean until tomorrow; until next week; until next month; until a year from now. I'm pretty sure you know what I mean. Those meanings make "forever" meaningless.
At the same time why should someone care if they're with their significant one "forver" especially at this age!? Hello! Your still young. Have fun! DON'T WORRY IF SOMEONE BREAKS YOUR HEART! It's okay you'll live. Others will come and go. Until you find someone truly worth saying "until death".
Face it, God is a necessity, boys are, just well, A MEER DESIRE. You meet eachother, fall for one other, get hurt somewhere in the relationship, and you cry. MOST IMPORTANTLY, YOU MOVE ON.
I'm not saying its impossible to fall in love with someone at this age but I have a feeling its not going to be able to compare to the love you have with your FUTURE husband/wife. In a reltionship there's love on different levels.
There's infatuation which isn't reall love at all. There's puppy love, yenno the kind that goes on between teens. Then there's the love for the "you know what and you know how", which isn't healthy at all. There's also the abusive kind, which is bad too. There's also that love that really means alot but in the end doesn't work out. There's also the love working its way to the most serious and important thing..eternal love. True love, the kind you find with a SOUL MATE. THERE'S THAT ONE GOD MADE YOU FOR, SILLY!
I still think its okay to be in love, its okay to be in relationship. Because without being broken you can't get stronger. Without making mistakes, you might mess up the most important love ever. Things we go through in our relationships now only help us later. It may hurt...
But for now why worry? Think of it, ARE YOU PLANNING ON GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW? I'm guessing your answer is no, right? So if your heartbroken, if your lonely, and all that stuff IT SERIOUSLY IS OKAY. You're never alone because GOD IS RIGHT BY YOUR SIDE 24/7. It's cuz you have friends and family that will LOVE YOU even if that guy or girl DOESN't anymore. So don't dwell on it. Being single is wonderful. For now focus on you being happy. After all you can't be happy with somebody else unless you can be happy "alone".
And here's another thought.. God's supposed to make you happy and well boys are just an add on feature to that smile on your face. GOD will be there for you more than ANY GUY WILL BE. TRUST HIM!
I loved once. I'm in no rush to love again. Those memories held good and bad moments but it was something to learn from. I'm happy we're I'm at. Like I said, "It's not like I'm getting married tomorrow anyway."
So for now run after Jesus, He's more worth it than a silly boy.
After all I'm pretty sure that LOVE is worth waiting all these years for.
BE HAPPY. JUST CHILL!! :)
After all less than 2% of highschool sweethearts actually get married
btw dont let anyone hold you back.
P.S. Sorry if I sound bitter. I'm just glad I figured out how I feel.
I DONT NEED A BOY TO MAKE ME HAPPY, TO MAKE ME SMILE.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Oh My,
I decided to do college applications today, and well its a scary thought.
My Choices:
-HPU
-UH Manoa
-UH West Oahu
&then maybe and hopefully
-UNLV
-CalState-Northridge
As much as I want to be on my own, can I really handle not being on the same island as everyone that truly matters to me?I mean if I stay here I'm still moving out but atleast I'll still be close to home. If I leave it won't be the same. I'm up for meeting new people and being in a new place. Question is Can I REALLY handle going off to the mainland? As much as I want to go to the mainland, I might be glad if I don't even get accepted to those two colleges. Why? Because the decision won't be as hard and painful. Kind of ridiculous but yeah.
It makes me sad and worried to have to think about these thinks but I have to. 2009 is around the corner and pretty soon its going to be graduation. Ugh. I'll pray on it but for now I'll just go for it. I'll never know what happens unless I try. Maybe how I feel about this will change when I find out where I'm actually accepted.
I'll see. Good Luck to me and everyone else having to make this decision.
God will guide me. He knows whats best. I just gotta trust.
My Choices:
-HPU
-UH Manoa
-UH West Oahu
&then maybe and hopefully
-UNLV
-CalState-Northridge
As much as I want to be on my own, can I really handle not being on the same island as everyone that truly matters to me?I mean if I stay here I'm still moving out but atleast I'll still be close to home. If I leave it won't be the same. I'm up for meeting new people and being in a new place. Question is Can I REALLY handle going off to the mainland? As much as I want to go to the mainland, I might be glad if I don't even get accepted to those two colleges. Why? Because the decision won't be as hard and painful. Kind of ridiculous but yeah.
It makes me sad and worried to have to think about these thinks but I have to. 2009 is around the corner and pretty soon its going to be graduation. Ugh. I'll pray on it but for now I'll just go for it. I'll never know what happens unless I try. Maybe how I feel about this will change when I find out where I'm actually accepted.
I'll see. Good Luck to me and everyone else having to make this decision.
God will guide me. He knows whats best. I just gotta trust.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Ms.Independent
What does it mean to be independent?
I still don't understand. I don't get, I'm really trying seriously. I looked it up and it says it means to be self-reliant. For me, how is that possible?
Maybe its all about learning to be happy without anybody else. Maybe focusing on making myself happy is what matters most right now. Maybe I should just listen to what others have to say but make my own decision. Maybe I can vent but maybe there's certain things I should just learn to keep to myself. Maybe being lonely is what I need.
Maybe I just need to depend on God more than anything. Then maybe I'll know what it means to be truly happy. With God being the center of life, things may not get easier but atleast being happy will be easier than i thought.
I'll give up my life to God now. I promise I'll depend on Him and with Him I know I can be independent.
It all starts at me, but if I trust with Him anything is possible.
Even though I still don't get what it means to be independent.
He'll help me and he knows what is takes for me to be that
Ms.Independent.
I still don't understand. I don't get, I'm really trying seriously. I looked it up and it says it means to be self-reliant. For me, how is that possible?
Maybe its all about learning to be happy without anybody else. Maybe focusing on making myself happy is what matters most right now. Maybe I should just listen to what others have to say but make my own decision. Maybe I can vent but maybe there's certain things I should just learn to keep to myself. Maybe being lonely is what I need.
Maybe I just need to depend on God more than anything. Then maybe I'll know what it means to be truly happy. With God being the center of life, things may not get easier but atleast being happy will be easier than i thought.
I'll give up my life to God now. I promise I'll depend on Him and with Him I know I can be independent.
It all starts at me, but if I trust with Him anything is possible.
Even though I still don't get what it means to be independent.
He'll help me and he knows what is takes for me to be that
Ms.Independent.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Determination
I need to stop slacking.
I need to be focused.
I need to stop being a super procrastinator.
I need to pull it together.
Girl, I need to be determined.
Without determination I know I won't get anything done, which also means
Girl, I need to get motivated.
I guess you can say determination and motivation go hand in hand.
My motivation get into HPU, UH Manoa, UH West Oahu, UNLV, or CalState.
But to get there I'm determined to get good grades and get it together.
My motivation is to become a better a person.
To get to that point, I'm determined to grow in my faith.
What gets you motivated to be determined?
Think about cuz with out those things you can't reach your goals and dreams.
I need to be focused.
I need to stop being a super procrastinator.
I need to pull it together.
Girl, I need to be determined.
Without determination I know I won't get anything done, which also means
Girl, I need to get motivated.
I guess you can say determination and motivation go hand in hand.
My motivation get into HPU, UH Manoa, UH West Oahu, UNLV, or CalState.
But to get there I'm determined to get good grades and get it together.
My motivation is to become a better a person.
To get to that point, I'm determined to grow in my faith.
What gets you motivated to be determined?
Think about cuz with out those things you can't reach your goals and dreams.
I Wonder
She said something that made me think. Actually I thought about it before but I never thought it would come from of all people,her. It really makes me wonder if that could actually happen. Maybe, maybe not. I just dont wanna mess up the logistics of this. So i'll keep that thought to myself.. for now. Its weird cuz something is telling me you never know but if I speak to fast it'll just be a disappointment. I guess I'll see what happens. Hopefully God will tell me, only He knows whats up.
--until later goodbye
--until later goodbye
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Here I go Again
Just now I feel like breaking down. I feel my thoughts surrounding me and they're just about ready to make me scream. Thoughts of you are running through my head but I know I can't let it get to me. And I won't. That's why I'm writing again, even if I really don't have a point to this. I really don't like the silence, because it means I'm left here thinking about only God would know. I wish I could make a million wishes that would make things easier, but thats impossible. All I keep thinking is, "Whats next?" Seriously, I don't know. My mind is just full of thoughts one minute and blank the next. I can't keep concentrated. I need my next fix of the Twilight series or something. I sound like an addict.LMAO. But really to get back to who I was reading does help, and shut up I'm not a nerd trust me. Its just that when I need help getting back to the real world books help. And how can you be happy and sad at the same time? I dont know but I am.Ahah
New Chapter
So i decided to start doing this because well it helps. And though it feels like my life is starting over again, I'm gonna live my life to the fullest. I have to say my hearts still hurts but everything takes time. I'm glad I have the friends that mean the world to me, especially now more than ever.It's hard to start over. It's hard to leave everything behind but at this point in time I HAVE TO. There's no turning back. I just need to put my life and my heart back together.
& To you:
I know what I did to you was wrong. I said it a million times and I mean it. I shouldn't have done that and I promise you I won't ever do that to anyone ever again. And though, we didn't treat each other right all the time, I guess it's okay I forgive you. I don't hate you one bit. I might feel hurt but I know I can suck it up. I know that its best that we finally parted. Thanks for the memories. Who would think " we " could end this way. Thanks for the good lessons learned. Praying for you and I don't give a FUCK what you say.I'll still be your friend one day.
It's hard but it's just time for me to have fun already. It's just God, me, family, and the friends who accepted after everything I do. I love my friends more than ever. Never would i have thought the friends I'm not close to would be able to make me feel better, but I'm thankful they did.
So here I go, ready to start over. Ready to start a new chapter of my life, once again. I'm more ready than I could ever be.
& To you:
I know what I did to you was wrong. I said it a million times and I mean it. I shouldn't have done that and I promise you I won't ever do that to anyone ever again. And though, we didn't treat each other right all the time, I guess it's okay I forgive you. I don't hate you one bit. I might feel hurt but I know I can suck it up. I know that its best that we finally parted. Thanks for the memories. Who would think " we " could end this way. Thanks for the good lessons learned. Praying for you and I don't give a FUCK what you say.I'll still be your friend one day.
It's hard but it's just time for me to have fun already. It's just God, me, family, and the friends who accepted after everything I do. I love my friends more than ever. Never would i have thought the friends I'm not close to would be able to make me feel better, but I'm thankful they did.
So here I go, ready to start over. Ready to start a new chapter of my life, once again. I'm more ready than I could ever be.
"Giving up doesn't mean your weak, it just means your strong enough to let go"
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